


Your Pain And My Pleasure

by Clarisse (transnymphtaire)



Series: Advent Calendar 2016 [21]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Sex Work, Soulmates, drug mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 23:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8944057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transnymphtaire/pseuds/Clarisse
Summary: The pain and pleasure you feel, your soulmate will feel as well





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to bigjellymonster for suggesting the Soulmate AU!
> 
> Small warning, the word whore is used at one point in derogatory context.
> 
> Unbetaed.

Tom’s earliest memories are of pain. Not his own, which makes it a hundred times worse, but the pain of another person, likely another child. When he complains to his mother, she looks down at him with pity in her eyes and explains that you share pain and pleasure with your soulmate. She suggests that he try to feel a lot of happy feelings so that his soulmate can also feel happy.

It’s good advice, and Tom is desperate to drown out the almost constant pain. There’s of course pills one can take to numb the connection, but he refuses as that would also stop his nice, positive feelings to reach his soulmate. He can share the happiness his loving mother gives him, at least to his soulmate. He does not care much for anyone else, except for his mother of course. Tom sometimes wonder if her soulmate is also in pain, and where they are, because his mother spends a lot of time looking sad. He’s only a child though, and there’s nothing he can do but hug her for an extra long time, and hope that somewhere in the world, his soulmate also feel the hug.

* * *

The pain doesn’t disappear as he grows older - it only gets worse. His mother suggests that it might be chronic pain, and Tom delves into research. He devours any book he can find about the subject, but it’s not any kind of illness, he’s sure of it. The pain is too irregular, there’s no pattern to if it’s like getting kicked in the stomach or like being whipped with a belt all over his back or even like getting strangled. He swears he has felt the pain of breaking every bone in his body at least once. Tom goes from researching chronic illnesses to researching abuse, and the psychology behind abusers. His mother only sighs and buy him more books, simply happy that her son cares for his soulmate.

All the research does pay off as Tom decides to become a school nurse. He wants a position where he can help children going through pain, and where he can catch the signs of abuse. To begin with, he wanted to be a doctor, or social worker, or even a policeman, but it would already be too late by the time any of those would be relevant, and he want to be there to help as early as he can.

He doesn’t just drown himself in research though. Tom competes against the overwhelming pain with overwhelming pleasure. It starts much like one can expect, with curious explorations of his own body at the start of puberty. The internet is a great source of inspiration for other ways to get more of the same pleasure, and ways to make it more intense.

As he grow older, he starts seeking out other people who are looking for pleasure. It becomes an addiction. He should feel dirty, using others to get pleasure to give his soulmate, but the other party gains just as much from it as he does. The only risk he’s taking is getting a STD, but he’s careful to always use protection - even when his mind is muddled with pleasure.

There’s a pattern to his pleasure-seeking, even if he can admit that it has grown into an addiction that he can’t get rid off. The pain from his soulmate comes in periods - sometimes just a constant dullness tugging at his nerve-endings, sometime so overwhelming that it’s a wonder that he can get through his day normally. When the pain is at its worst is when Tom searches after the most pleasure.

* * *

It’s only natural when his hunt for pleasure make him seek out sex workers. Tom doesn’t mind spending some money to have a good time - he earns a lot playing poker, and works part-time while studying. The pain from his soulmate is dull again, but Tom has recently started to realise that it’s the product of either numbing pills or drugs. He hopes it’s the latter, but he’s not sure if his pleasure will still reach through the drugs. There’s not research to be found on the subject, which is ridiculous in a society built on seeking pleasure and drowning out pain.

A boy whose weight seem to be hold up by the building he’s leaning against smiles invitingly at Tom. Dull green eyes looking patiently at him from behind a pair of black library style glasses.

“How much for your services?” Tom asks, his voice kind and his smile charming. Surprise flicker in the green eyes, likely at being treated well. Tom almost frown when his glance gets drawn to the skeletal limbs and sunken stomach hidden underneath worn, yet tight clothes. It’s not the kind of person he would usually look for, but the green eyes are enchanting, and the boy likely needs the money. He would give some without buying, but no one likes to be seen as a charity case.

“£200 for a hour. More without protection.”

Tom grimaces slightly at the mention of not using protection. He prefers to go by better safe than sorry.

“Can I buy a hour of your time?” he asks. “With protection, of course.”

“Sure, doll,” the boy answers. “You look nice enough. There’s a hotel around the corner.”

Tom nods. He already knew, and he might have been there once or twice.

“Would you like the money now?” he offers, because payment in advance is how it should work. He could wait until they’re at the hotel, but it’s just polite to pay before that. The boy’s eyes widen slightly through the drug induced daze, and he nods. Tom hands over the £200 and wait patiently as the boy counts through them.

“Names Harry, by the way.” the boy says after he has counted and put away the money. Harry carefully takes Tom’s hand, an expression of innocent wonder on his face as he starts leading the way to the hotel. Tom gets the horrible feeling that Harry isn’t used to much kindness.

“I’m Tom.” he offers his name in return. Harry gives him a quick, yet bright smile.

* * *

They’re in the hotel room that Tom paid for - Harry has stripped naked and is lying against the white sheets. His skin looks even darker in contrast, and the tight curls are spread out as an aura around his head. Tom is still wearing his jeans, as he’s hovering over Harry’s body, arms caging the boy in.

“Do whatever you want.” Harry urges him, his legs going up around Tom’s waist in an invitation and offering both at once. Tom leans down to lick a stripe along Harry’s collarbone, until he stops at a soft spot of skin and starts sucking hard. He does not intend on leaving a mark on the beautiful skin, but he personally finds the action pleasurable.

He stops suddenly when he feels the same pleasurable sensation from the same spot on his own skin. It might just be a coincidence when it stops as he does. Tom pushes himself up a bit so that he can look properly at Harry’s face. The green eyes are hidden behind closed lids for only a moment, before Harry opens them and tilts his head to the side curiously.

“Why did you stop?”

Tom shakes his head slightly. It might just as well been nothing. He leans down to latch onto the same spot of skin again, sucking as hard as he can. The sensation of pleasure is once more repeated at the same spot on his own skin. When he release Harry’s skin to sit back this time, there’s a purple mark left behind. He notices that Harry is blinking in confusion, and Tom wonders if the strain of sucking has transferred as the pleasure of receiving did to him.

“I feel weird…” Harry confesses, much like a child would.

“We can stop, if you want.” Tom offers, not daring to suggest that they might be soulmates. Not yet, at least. He needs more proof - he needs to do more research. He certainly wouldn’t mind if Harry is his soulmate - Harry is definitely attractive, though some weight-gaining would be good, and if Tom could do anything to help Harry, he definitely would. He doesn’t want to give Harry false hope though, if it turns out to be nothing but a mere coincidence.

Harry shakes his head, his hair moving against the sheets, “No, continue.”

Tom waits a moment before he does, drinks in how Harry looks underneath him - flushed dark skin and a purple mark by his collarbone. If not for the unhealthy thinness, Harry would be divine, ethereal, unworthy of mortality. Tom wants to worship him, wants to give him offerings of flowers and of jewellery, wants to dress him in the finest clothes and keep him safe, wants to wrap him in a blanket and give him tea. Maybe that’s what the beginning of love feels like.

Almost as if he wants to distract himself from thoughts of love, Tom leans back down to trail kisses from Harry’s collarbone to his nipples. He drags his tongue slowly over the left one, and swears his can feel the action mirrored on his own. There’s realistically no way that his soulmate is some stranger experiencing the exact same pleasure that he’s giving Harry - it’s even heightened by the drugs Harry has taken, in contrast to the dulled pain. Tom ignores it, and teases the now perky nipple with his teeth. Harry makes a sound from underneath him, and it sounds like the most beautiful music. Tom reacts by nipping at the nipple, but Harry’s whine and the pain that shoots through his own make him stop.

“Sorry,” Tom breathes, and rest his head against Harry’s chest. “Just distracted.”

The noise Harry makes is part incredulous and part understanding. Tom rises his head enough to meet Harry’s eyes, which seem clearer by the second.

“This is gonna sound awfully romantic, and like a big cliche,” Tom mumbles, his lips touching Harry’s chest as he speak. “But I think you’re my soulmate.”

Harry starts to laugh, and there’s something almost desperate to the sound. Tom pushes himself up and sits on Harry’s legs. He watches quietly as Harry’s laughter reaches a panicked high and then dies out.

“Let me hit you.” Harry begs, as desperate in his tone as he was with his laughter. Tom can do nothing but nod, and Harry moves gracefully into a sitting position, kneeling in front of him. Tom shifts so that he sits with his legs in tailor style.

“Do it.” Tom answers, in lack of anything else to say. A determined look replaces the desperate one in Harry’s eyes, and suddenly pain blossoms across Tom’s cheek and his head flies to the side at the impact. He hears Harry swear, and he feels his hand sting.

“You might be right,” Harry admits. “Sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?” Tom demands. He takes Harry’s hands in his, right thumb striking circles upon Harry’s skin. The look Harry gives him is the most incredulous he has ever seen.

“Tom, doll, I’m a worthless whore, and you’re stuck with me.”

“There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with,” Tom almost grimaces, so syrupy sweet is his confession. “You’re my soulmate, I’ve cared for you since I first received your pain.”

“How old are you?” Harry suddenly asks, his words so stressed that they’re almost jumbled. Tom blinks, caught of guard by the question.

“22, going on 23.”

“I’m 25,” Harry answer, with a half-strangled laugh. “Oh god, the pain you must have been in since your birth, since your fucking birth, Tom!”

Tom can’t help but be taken aback, both by Harry being older if only by a couple of years, and by the sudden hysterics. He reacts the only way he knows to, and carefully maneuver Harry against his chest, in a tight embrace much like the long hugs that he gives his mother. Harry sobs against him, his whole body shaking. Tom strokes over Harry’s back in a manner he hopes is calming.

It takes time, but after a while he feels how Harry stops shaking, hears how Harry stops sobbing. Tom feels relief spread through him - he has never been good with other people’s emotions.

“You absolutely don’t have to answer, but Harry… why have you been in so much pain? Why are you working on the streets?” Tom whispers, as if he were in a confessional booth at church.

Harry is quiet for a long moment, until he mumbles two words against the junction between Tom’s shoulder and neck. He has to strain his ears to hear it, and the two words makes his blood run cold.

“Your uncle?” Tom repeats, absolutely horrified. He feels how Harry nods, and seems to shrink in his embrace. It makes his mind up; he’s taking Harry with him home.

* * *

It takes a while before he manages to convince Harry that it’s safe, that Tom will care for him, but he succeeds at last. Harry is almost drowning in Tom’s coat, and is huddled against his side as they walk down the street. They left the hotel behind a while ago, and is nearing Tom’s apartment with every block they walk past. It feels like it takes an eternity and a half before they finally reach Tom’s apartment building - the same one his mother lives in, although they live on different floors.

Tom holds the door open, and Harry enters first. They’ve been walking in silence since they left the hotel, and they’re not breaking it now. There’s no need to - the silence between them is comfortable. It’s strange - the way it’s like a missing puzzle piece has finally been put in place, when they just recently met. It can be because they’ve shared each other's pain and pleasure for more than 20 years, it can be the magic of finding your soulmate. Whatever it is, Tom never wants it to end.

They take the elevator up to his floor, leaning against each other. They hold hands as Tom leads the way to his apartment door.

They’ve left all the pain behind for now, and the future is painted in the colours of all the pleasure they have yet to experience. It’s not a happy ending, but it’s the start of a happy life - together, as they should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Do inform me if there's anything else I should tag! Or if I messed up with anything! The only research I did was looking up the price of male prostitutes in London...
> 
> I'm actually really happy with this. I've been able to put down more time on it than usual, which feels great. And I'm so proud of that second to last line.
> 
> Definitely hope y'all will consider School Nurse Tom from now on.


End file.
